


For Better Or For Worse

by VioletTea



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Married Couple, Other, distancing relationship, kinda edited, sad feels, there is a lot of angst in dojae and i am adding more
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 02:03:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17819708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletTea/pseuds/VioletTea
Summary: Amongst all of the past memories was a foreign one. Doyoung knew the sweater wasn't his.A sudden blue washes the recent bitterness away and a drowning sadness replaces it.He waits for him. He wasn't ready to let go yet.





	For Better Or For Worse

Doyoung finds the first item in the deep corner of their closet.

When they first moved in they couldn't afford a lot of furniture and it wasn't like two interns had a lot of clothes. As they began to fill up the space in their apartment more things were getting forgotten. The space they once shared suffocates, traps, and chokes the life out of Jaehyun. He doesn't stay long and the things they once shared are never in use. Plastic replaces their engraved silverware and the collection of mugs were covered in dust.

 _Their_ closet held their clothes, well the older ones at least. They ran out of space once they began to fill the space with tuxedos and moved on to larger closets. Inside the tawny wood they found on the street, were their college sweatshirts, graphic tees, and couple pajamas Doyoung remembered buying during a trip for groceries. A few jackets he remembered gifting to Jaehyun on his birthday and the occasional strewn blazer Doyoung always threw in when Jaehyun was too impatient to let him use a hanger.

Amongst all of the past memories was a foreign one. Doyoung knew the sweater wasn't his. It was too small to fit him properly and the pattern was too flashy to fit his usual style. He takes it out, uncut hair falling into his eyes, and tries to make sense of the crumpled wool in his hands. Their bedroom light bathed him in the brightest artificiality, but everything was melting into a blur. When Doyoung puts the sweater to his nose, the scent, perfume and the lightest hint of sweat, mocks him with all its sugar and vanilla. He throws it down to the ground like the fabric was burning him and he drags himself to the bathroom with trembling fingers. With a few splashes of water, Doyoung folds the shirt back up and pushes it inside. He was going to forget this ever happened. Jaehyun was coming home in less than an hour. Or at least he hoped so.

Two hours later than their scheduled dinnertime, Doyoung's phone rings. He is still at their dinner table, the cold takeout and flickering candle still set up.

"Sorry. Traffic was worse than usual."

Doyoung hums and tucks the phone under his ear as he fumbles for his cup of tea. His throat was sore and his voice is paper thin when he dismisses the lateness.

When Jaehyun comes home, he sees Doyoung in bed, his back facing the door, blanket over his head. He pats the covered figure and marches to the shower to change.

 

The second item fell out of Jaehyun's suit when Doyoung was fishing out pocket change, receipts, and tissues.

It was Laundry Day and unlike their past domestic dates to the laundromat, Doyoung finds himself in an empty laundromat under a black sky. Usually he would've sent the clothes to laundromat, but he was hoping to re-live their youths once more. It might've rekindled whatever was going between them before and he could forget that sweater and its horrible perfume.

The idea fell into pieces once Jaehyun was called to work. The peck on the cheek he gives before running out the door stings Doyoung and when the door slams shut he grits his teeth. Alone, he throws the sweater into the trash can underneath their apartment before marching to the laundromat with a week's worth of dirty clothes. The sugary vanilla lingers still.

When the final designer blazer is checked, Doyoung finds a receipt. It was for some wine and the date was recent. Doyoung liked to say he enjoyed a good glass of wine, but that bottle never touched his fingers before. A sudden blue washes the recent bitterness away and a drowning sadness replaces his estrangled mess of emotions. He throws the reciept away and tosses the blazer inside the drum.

Luckily, first hit was worse so when he drags himself home, he can only look up at the soft streetlights and sigh, eyes welling up. Doyoung still loved him. He couldn't erase the bravery Jaehyun had when he confessed to his parents and moved out of the house the next day. He couldn't forget the beautiful way Jaehyun smiled at him or the looks they gave each other behind all their friends' backs. His fingers were still brushing over Doyoung in the elegant way he always moved with and his whispers, hums, and giggles haunt him with sweet nothings and saturated memories Doyoung wished he would forever forget.

 

Months pass with similar life patterns, but Doyoung doesn't push their inevitable end over the. Whenever he visited Jaehyun and instead of the tapping of the keyboard he heard the shallow thumps and soft moans of his husband footsteps away from his office, he left with a little note and bid the confused secretary a good day. When Doyoung found a receipt for roses, he threw the slip of paper aaay and hung the jacket by their door like before, crumpled and faded with worn. When Jaehyun's phone screen broke his sleepless night peace, Doyoung covered the sweet, sugary texts with whatever newspaper they had on their nightstand. It wasn't until a year of tiptoeing did his lonely masquerade end.

When Donyoung came home one night, later than usual, he didn't hear anything and assumed his husband was sleeping, at work, or doing whatever he was doing. His steps were muffled by the slippers so when he opened the door, a sliver of the yellow hallway light shines on a sweaty, tangled bed of hair and Jaehyun's alarmed eye. Doyoung took a second to blink at him and closed the door without another sound. Shortly after, he left the apartment with an umbrella and his phone. During his walk to the nearest motel, he could only think about Jaehyun's one, wide eye. By the time he changed out of his clothes and fell on the thin mattress, Doyoung threw away any hope he had. When he closed the door before, Jaehyun's eye was relieved, even glad. The Jaehyun who defended him from the scum of college, comforted him during his tense period of unemployment, declared to his entire office he was in a relationship with a man, and professed his eternal love to him at the altar was gone.

Doyoung came back to the apartment less than two hours later. He prepared a glass of water and placed his bottle of painkillers besides it before going to work. When he opened the door to his room, he couldn't help spotting the bottles of red wine and whisky aligning on his desk.

The next night, they sit in front of each other, face to face. Doyoung sees the guilt written all over his face, but he chooses to feign naivety over the situation.

"How long has it...been?" Doyoung didn't mean for his voice to crack, but there it was. By this point, his emotional vontrol was breaking piece by piece. Jaehyun looks up from the table and stays quiet as he watches him cry.

"I think...you know," Jaehyun tries to say. "What happens now. I'm sorry."

Doyoung doesn't know why, but he smiles through the wrecking sobs he couldn't hold.

"I do."

**Author's Note:**

> This ship is angsty in general, but the dynamic is interesting? idk
> 
> I know there are already a lot of cheating Jaehyun fics, but I was in the mood for another
> 
> Jaehyun isn't the worst person, but he made really poor decisions in the end (You can interpret it any way you want tho)
> 
> Still not comfortable using their real names so this'll do
> 
> Edit: just changed the title, but it is still based on "I Know I'm Not the Only One"


End file.
